Miss Wilhelmina

When I’m not doing anything in particular and we’re both online, I’d ask him if I could see him. He was never hesitant to show himself. I would then poke fun at how he looked. If it were anybody else, I would be all nice and say that he or she’s good-looking.

For almost two years now, I am still smitten by this man. When it’s before my bedtime here and during his days off from work, I would ask him to turn his cam on and tell him to open his eyes more, since he has such small eyes that they look closed almost all the time. And when he would, I would see if they would change colors with the light. He has very green eyes that even the crappy quality of his cam can’t hide and they are so bright that you wouldn’t be able to ignore them even if you wanted to.

Between the two of us, I’ve always given him the impression that I’m the insensitive jerk and that since he’s so sensitive that he should be the girl. In fact, I oftentimes call him a big girl. Is it obvious that I’m pretty much in love with someone whom I’ve never even seen in person? It must be so horrid for others to even want to be in a relationship such as the one that we have. There are so many negative “what if’s”, but there are also many positive “what if’s”. It’s very much okay with me if I still have to wait. I’m not the only one doing the wait anyway.

I was in a relationship where I saw the person that I was with everyday, but that relationship wasn’t worth anything at all. I was at the losing end all the time. In this relationship, even if we’re both so far away from each other, it always feels like you’ve won. You wouldn’t even care about all the others that harmed you or those who wished you ill.

Now the step to take is to get to each other, which shouldn’t be too long now.